Panic about a Pandemic??

Is anyone out there worried about the Swine Flu? I am usually not an alarmist and I feel I have a level head, but this flu situation really has me a little freaked out. I know there has been other things in the recent past, remember the bird flu or the flesh eating bacteria? I know that I should not fear, but honestly, I am a little scared and worried this time around. I've been trying to think of why I am so worried this time. These are some of my thoughts on my emotional state:

1. Over the last 18 months, I have learned to be more aware of and embrace my fears. I don't have to be strong. I can admit that I am scared and that does not make me a weak person. There will be people who will take advantage of your weaknesses, but that says nothing about you, it says something about them. It's okay to be afraid. You don't have to be a bad a$$ all the time to cover up you fears and insecurities.
2. I have learned that life is uncertain. Certainty is an illusion. In our quest for certainty, we often hurt others, ourselves and our relationships by trying to control outcomes and create the illusion of certainty. I am wrestling with the uncertainty of our future. Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one. - Voltaire
3. I don't feel prepared. I am not talking about temporal or spiritual preparedness (although I must definitely work on those as well). I'm talking about good ol' "I am not ready to die yet"! I feel that for the past 20+ years I have been living in "black & white". Right now I am starting to live in "technicolor", I want an opportunity to live in "Blu-Ray". I feel more alive than I ever have, I am not ready to give it up yet. I want "Blu-Ray" with my boys.

Spring Break Part III - Sego Canyon

On our way back home from Colorado, we stopped in Sego Canyon, Utah and viewed the pictographs and petroglyphs. This is our 2nd visit to this area. I am again in awe of the different time periods depicted in these panels.

Spring Break Part II - The Country Life

While we were in Colorado, we had some fun times. We also did some rednecky things (no offense). We went shooting (I'm still a good shot, so don't mess with me), Ed and I went on a 5 mile run to Fruit Growers Reservoir, we went on a walk with Dale and Mary to see the new irrigation system on the Vela Ranch (I learned a lot), we went swimming (6 laps in an Olympic pool after running 5 miles, not a good idea), Ryan and Paxton played racquetball, I read a lot of People magazine (guilty pleasure), ate a lot of yummy food (canceled out the 5 mile run and swim), Paxton and Ryan shot everything with their Airsoft guns, Paxton got his butt kicked in Scrabble by Mary, slept in every day (thanks for saving us breakfast Mary), had a bonfire and s'mores, hunted for snakes and frogs with Brennan, Ryan and Paxton rerouted the creek through the ranch (why?, I don't know) and so much more. Loads of fun!!!

Me shooting the Glock, I think Ed was concerned I was going to fall over

Brennan getting in on the action

Horses running inthe pasture, they look so awesome when they are running. Picture doesn't do them any justice.

Paxton and Ryan with their make-shift holsters for their Airsoft guns

Brennan and his friend Snakee

Paxton kicked everyones butt at shooting.

Ryan, check out his sexy boots and shorts look.

Ed throwing the clay pigeons, Grandpa Dale took a break after he threw one at the car.

I'm still a decent shot after 19 years.

Spring Break Part I - Black Dragon Canyon

For Spring Break we headed to Ed's dad and step-mom's home in Colorado. We had loads of fun as a family and Ryan had an especially good time because he brought along his friend Paxton. We decided to take some detours and visit some of our old stompin' grounds. Here are some of our pics from our little hike in Black Dragon Canyon, Utah in the San Rafael Swell.

Paxton hiking in the canyon

Me and Brennan on the hike

The Boys, notice the pictograph above their heads.

Paxton and Ryan viewing the Black Canyon pictographs

Ah....Spring!

I am so excited for Spring, especially after what seems like an eternal winter. Mother Nature can't make up her mind though. Two days ago its warming up and shorts weather, the next day it rains and today it snows. This is what the view outside my window looked like today:

Regardless, some of my favorite things about Spring are, Tulips, Blooms and Spring Cleaning. My Tulips bloomed this week, my Flowering Plum Tree is in full bloom and this week I have engaged in some serious Spring Cleaning. The boys have dusted the baseboards, I have dusted every single slat of our wood blinds, cleaned the inside of all the windows, moved the couches and vacuumed, taken down all the drapes, ironed, purged closets and too many other things to list. I don't love the cleaning, but I love the result of a clean home. It is such a great start to a great season.

My tulips and tree.

Livin' Life Joyfully

I wanted to include this picture of Ed and Ryan to my blog for journaling purposes. These are my guys after getting back from the Priesthood Session of Conference a couple weeks ago. It just reminds me of how big Ryan is getting and how the time seems to slip away. I also feel so blessed to have two Priesthood holders in my family, I feel like one lucky gal.

Questions about Mom

Two of my friends did this on their blogs and I got really curious as to what my boys think of me.....I had no idea. I added my own commentary in italics, cause I gotta have an opinion (thanks Heather and Cami).

1. What is something your mom always says to you?
Ryan 13: Hi
Brennan 6: I love you

2. What makes mom happy?
Ryan 13: Listening to her
Brennan 6: Cuddling with me

3. What makes mom sad?
Ryan 13: When you disobey
Brennan 6: When dad and you have an argument
Brennan's answer made me sad

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Ryan 12: Telling jokes or farting
Brennan 6: Cuddles me too much
I so do not fart ;-)

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Ryan 13: Responsible
Brennan 6: What Ryan said

6. How old is your mom?
Ryan 13: Young at heart
Brennan 6: Uh, not really sure
I swear I didn't pay Ryan

7. How tall is your mom?
Ryan 13: Shorter than me
Brennan 6: Taller than me and shorter than Ryan

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Ryan 13: Sleep
Brennan 6: Cuddle me
Ahhhh...two of my favorite things!

9. What does your mom do when you're not home?
Ryan 13: Be productive
Brennan 6: Work

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Ryan 13: Her opinion
Brennan 6: Cooking
Does it give you an impression I am opinionated?

11.What is your mom really good at?
Ryan 13: Taking care of her kids
Brennan 6: Cooking
Brennan must have been hungry because that is coming from a kid that eachs 10% of what I cook.

12. What is your mom not good at?
Ryan 13: Not taking care of her kids
Brennan 6: Nothing
Ryan wanted to point out that his answer is a double negative.

13. What does your mom do for a job?
Ryan 13: Customer Service
Brennan 6: Help people get their orders for their medicine

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Ryan 13: Salmon
Brennan 6: Chicken
What??.. where are the shrimp, enchiladas, pizza, sushi, Panera, Chipotle, Tokyo Joes, Wahoos fish tacos??

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Ryan 13: When she solves a problem
Brennan 6: Your cooking
I think Brennan was definitely hungry!!

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Ryan 13: Sandy (SpongeBob)
Brennan 6: Kat (Kid vs. Kat)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Ryan 13: Homework
Brennan 6: Cuddle
I need to spend less time with Ryan in conflict.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Ryan 13: We're related
Brennan 6: We are in the same family
My kids are in denial...

19. How are you and your mom different?
Ryan 13: She is organized and I am not
Brennan 6: You prefer me to cuddle you and I prefer to play video games
Brennan is very confident in his priorities

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Ryan 13: Because she is making us do this quiz.
Brennan 6: Cause you cuddle me alot and take care of me alot and when it's serious you try to make me listen.

21. What does your mom like the most about your dad?
Ryan 13: His muscles
Brennan 6: Because he loves you
I didn't think anyone noticed I liked Ed's muscles!

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Ryan 13: To her mom and dad's house in California
Brennan 6: Same as Ryan