Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Panic about a Pandemic??

Is anyone out there worried about the Swine Flu? I am usually not an alarmist and I feel I have a level head, but this flu situation really has me a little freaked out. I know there has been other things in the recent past, remember the bird flu or the flesh eating bacteria? I know that I should not fear, but honestly, I am a little scared and worried this time around. I've been trying to think of why I am so worried this time. These are some of my thoughts on my emotional state:
  1. Over the last 18 months, I have learned to be more aware of and embrace my fears. I don't have to be strong. I can admit that I am scared and that does not make me a weak person. There will be people who will take advantage of your weaknesses, but that says nothing about you, it says something about them. It's okay to be afraid. You don't have to be a bad a$$ all the time to cover up you fears and insecurities.
  2. I have learned that life is uncertain. Certainty is an illusion. In our quest for certainty, we often hurt others, ourselves and our relationships by trying to control outcomes and create the illusion of certainty. I am wrestling with the uncertainty of our future. Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one. - Voltaire
  3. I don't feel prepared. I am not talking about temporal or spiritual preparedness (although I must definitely work on those as well). I'm talking about good ol' "I am not ready to die yet"! I feel that for the past 20+ years I have been living in "black & white". Right now I am starting to live in "technicolor", I want an opportunity to live in "Blu-Ray". I feel more alive than I ever have, I am not ready to give it up yet. I want "Blu-Ray" with my boys.

1 comment:

Jen said...

So true and good to think about!